You Can't Always Get What You Want

Just in the last week or so I have taken to walking everyday. I give myself an hour or so in the hope of the sort of space that will allow me to reflect on the shape of my life. My i-Pod has taken each trip with me, set to shuffle, flicking through a library of eclectic sounds - quirky John Schofield jazz, old Paul Simon tunes, the recent Snow Patrol album, some Ray Charles and about 400 other bits and pieces. Basically the beauty of not knowing what's going to emerge next has somehow made sense.

Yesterday I wandered along Tahuna Beach which stretches for a mile or so beside Tasman Bay near Nelson, New Zealand. It's basically my back door and a pretty amazing place to hang out in. Looking North there's an uninterupted view of grey-blue sea hitting the horizon. Out West the sharp mid-winter sunlight was doing it's thing off the mountains, enough snow to make it look like the postcards, and the sand was shimmering with shallow, low-tide ripples. One of those moments where you'd expect to say, "It doesn't get better than this!" I wasn't having one of those moments.

I've been mulling over some of my struggle to find a working environment that seems to best fit with who I am. Currently I lead a team in a local church. I love the creative, thinking bits of what it involves - imagining the future, stirring people to dream of a better world. However the reality of facilitating people towards this on a daily basis has proven a real struggle to facilitate. I'm clear about my need to partner closely with others who have a different talent/skill set to me, but that obviously requires trust and a decent degree of emotional health to succeed. So wandering along Tahuna I was wondering what sort of shape was I in?

Right at that moment the dark, simmering grooves of "Rising Son", off Massive Attack's Mezzanine gave way to the slightly ridiculous choral opening of the Stones song "You can't always get what you want". I always think that Mick and Keef must have a chortle whenever they hear the po-faced seriousness of it. But, the way it moves into the folksy acoustic guitar swing and Mick's cool, country tinged vocal is just perfect. That line that goes... "I went down to the demonstration, to get my fare share of abuse..." always cracks me up and then the gospel vocals joining the choir and band absolutely cooking with shakers and conga's all going - it's just the perfect antidote to self-absorbed pondering. Finally the observation that although "you can't always get what you want, you might just find you'll get what you need" was just what I needed to hear - a prayer of sorts. I just ended up throwing my arms up in the air and having a good yodel on the chorus. Thank you God for the Rolling Stones and big expanses of beach!

Our Common Cravings

Having spent much of May hanging out in the USA, and now trying to process what all went on back home in Nelson, there are a few things that just keep rising to the surface.

One of these is the realisation that there isn't a human being that doesn't want to somehow find the things that are truly real in this world. What can we trust? Who really cares about us? What is our value? These are the questions that Erwin MacManus wrestles with in his book "Soul Cravings". I am now asking myself these questions all the time and finding that most of the people I talk to are at any given moment considering these too.

Jesus speaks of the fact that everyone is building something, some construct that gives their life meaning, intimacy and purpose. He encourages us to consider whether we are building in such a way that when the inevitable storms come we are able to stand and not collapse. Jesus boldly asserts that to build life upon his example, essentially doing the things that he did, will mean we will be able to face any crisis, and stand through it.

I really long to be that resiliant. I want to last the distance in the things that really matter. I also want to be a voice for the promise of Jesus. The promise that anyone can walk with him into a life that is full of trust, love and hope.

One of Jesus' early followers, Paul, spoke to a group of philosophers in Athens, talking together about who they trusted to make sense of the world. Paul spoke of the God made visible in the life of Jesus, and that in fact even after his death, the spirit of Jesus remains alive and active wooing people to the God who imagined them in the first place. He says that within every human being is the seed of that forever-imagining. It was clear to Paul, and Jesus, that those who choose to search, and not just settle for unsatisfactory answers, will find what they are really looking for. This quest fuels our humanness - to be a people who are secure in what and who we trust, known by the love we give and receive, finding hope in the journey and voicing it to the world around us. That quest seems so worth living for.

I incredibly appreciate the people who are attempting to create environments for this to occur. Mosaic in LA are a community that it seems to me are making every effort to embody this quest. Their website is worth visiting to get a sense of how this plays out where they are (www.mosaic.org) but also to stir our imagination for what it might be like in our home communities. I'm looking forward to living out the journey in Nelson, New Zealand.

How much can you fit in a bag?

My US experience draws to a close tomorrow as I head back from Denver to LA and then on home to Nelson. About 36 hours of travel beckons - yikes!

I've just finished stuffing the last clothes, books and CDs into my bags. I think I'm underweight. Which is more than can be said for my body which has enjoyed the hospitality here with perhaps a little too much vigour. Last night I caught my first live baseball game at Coors Field in Denver - the local Rockies team lost 3-0 to Arizona but my night seemed to mostly revolve around eating hotdogs, shelling peanuts, drinking beer and talking Bob Dylan with a guy who came with me and Jim, a Pastor called Joe Beech. His son is about to head to Israel to shoot some film in the Gaza Strip - pretty volatile place.

I have had an amazing time connecting with people over here. Last weekend I was up in Michigan, spending time with Jim Sawyer's family in Grand Haven, a gorgeous spot on the shores of Lake Michigan. Lots of time spent talking about the cultural differences between Kiwis and Americans. We even got "The World's Fastest Indian" out on DVD and watched it together.

On the Sunday Jim and I went to Mars Hill Church in Grand Rapids - the community led by Rob Bell. It was great to catch a meeting, hear Rob speak (we exchanged brief "hello's") and then have a long lunch with a couple who were part of the founding team that planted the church.

Back in Denver I have had the chance to hook up with a brilliant missional community called Adullum, led by a guy called Hugh Halter. They are trying some fantastic community connecting initiatives that got me pretty excited.

I'm really aware that this blog over the last weeks has been very much a descriptive thing without really much time given to reflection. I have to admit it has been so full on just absorbing everything that trying to work out what it all might mean and how things will change because of this time away, will need some decent time back at home. Suffice to say I have been blown away by the way God has prepared a route for me and MaryAnn. The people we have encountered, and shared stories with, will certainly be part of our future.

But now I am a mere two days away from reconnecting with MaryAnn and the kids. I have really missed them. Brief phonecalls have at least reassured me that they are doing great and having their own adventures back in Nelson. Lots to ponder in the meantime - looking forward to seeing everyone soon.

Funky Clubs and Pumpkin Pie

More cool US experiences over the last few days in Denver. Maryann and I checked out the Celestial Seasonings Tea Co. an iconic Boulder, Colorado institution. It was kicked off in the sixties by a couple of hippies trying to make herbal teas out of the local vegetation and has progressed to being the largest supplier of herbal tea in the States with all manor of exotic flavours. We got to sample heaps as well as doing a tour of the factory. It was really fun!

MaryAnn dragged me out later that night to experience some Denver night life. We travelled by light rail into the city centre and went to a Jazz and Blues club that was launching it's "funk night" - we were the only white-folks on the dance floor but we had a brilliant time boogieing to this incredibly hot funk band called Soul School - lots of Earth Wind and Fire; Kool and the Gang; Gap Band style seventies funk but with a bit of current hip-hop groove as well. A totally excellent musical time.

This morning MaryAnn and I went with Jim Sawyer to the High school where he works and where his boys attend. Basically MaryAnn and I took an hour or so with the whole school playing some songs, talking about New Zealand, sharing about our journey with Jesus and then answering questions. It was absolutely brilliant. I got a bunch of kids up to sing Bob Dylan's "You gotta serve somebody" which really went down. They were great sports.

Tomorrow MaryAnn heads back to Nelson so we got in the obligatory shopping-fest which turned out to be heaps of fun. Lots of cool stuff at very cheap prices. Tonight we are getting together with the Sawyer clan for a traditional "Thanks Giving" style food extravaganza - turkey, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, the whole nine yards - can't wait.

When Maryann takes off back to LA, Jim and I head to Michigan where we will catch up with some of his family (he grew up there) and also check out Mars Hill in Grand Rapids, the church led by Rob Bell. So more exciting stuff still to come. MaryAnn will be back in Nelson on Saturday morning and I'll be back Saturday week. Talk to you again soon.

Sun, Snow and Red Rocks

Colorado is amazing! MaryAnn and I have just spent the last few days experiencing the Colorado Rocky mountains and what an incredible part of the world it is. Having put the LA sun behind us and a batch of never to be forgotten encounters with all manner of amazing Jesus following people we landed in Denver on Saturday.

We are staying with Jim and Linda Sawyer and their three boys. After spending 5 months in Nelson with us last year they are totally going out of their way to give us an experience of their home. After a great church meeting on Sunday morning we hit the mountains where MaryAnn and Linda got in a half day skiing while I read Rolling Stone in the Cafe and talked with Jim (my legs just aren't up to the ski boot thing at the moment). We then headed to Buena Vista and spent the night in their log cabin. Snow was falling lightly all around making the whole place look absolutely magical - I've never been in snow like that and just soaked up the whole experience. We saw all manner of wildlife including elk, deer, foxes, blue jays, squirrels and heaps of other stuff. The whole setting was like a fairytale!

Today we made our way back to Denver via Red Rocks - the amazing natural amphi-theater that has played host to all manner of stellar music stars including the memorable 1983 concert by U2 which was captured on the "Under a Blood Red Sky" film.

MaryAnn and I have been having great conversations debriefing our time in LA with Mosaic and the community of people there. We felt so affirmed in our belief that alligning ourselves with the mission of Jesus is the core reason for the church's existence and that everything flows out of following him into the lives of people who don't yet swear their allegience to him. Knowing this deep in our beings will obviously ensure that we continue to assess how we are doing what we are doing and the particular call that God has put on our lives. Exciting times!!

We obviously are struggling a little with being away from the kids but have had several cool phonecalls and know they are doing great without us. We want to thank those of you who have been praying for us and the kids - we couldn't do this without you.

At Mosaic, LA and Loving it

Firstly, sorry to all our friends who've been trying to keep up with mine and MaryAnn's LA adventure. We have only just got all the appropriate cables hooked up to get us online. But, here we are!
Just reflecting on several amazing days with the Mosaic whanau here in Pasadena, LA. So many incredible experiences as we have listened to communicators, hung out with the team here, yarning over mexican food and Starbucks coffee's (incidentally, not a patch on kiwi barrista-ed flat whites, but the corn chips are out of this world!).
The Kiwi contingent who are here (30 of us in total) were all invited to Erwin and Kim McManus place for dinner on Monday night, where we connected with a bunch of the Mosaic staff and talked all sorts of exciting talk about our global linking. Many of the New Zealanders had never met before, so it was cool to do introductions in LA!
The Origins conference was fantastic. The team led us through an exploration of the core values of the gospel in relation to how Mosaic is church. So much to tell and we are only really processing it now. However, Maryann and I felt this deep and fairly emotional connection to what was being shared recognising that it was so much the journey we have been travelling the last few years - very affirming. I've ordered the DVD series so that people can catch up with the content when we get back.
I started off trying to capture stuff on video hoping to be able to communicate the vibe of Mosaic but each time I got behind the camera I realised that it was so little about the look of the thing and so much about the relational stuff - very hard to capture on film. The people here are unbelievably generous, and so encouraging of us. We have had more conversations than I can count with people from all over the world - awesome.
MaryAnn and I are loving being together on this and have been so privileged to be invited in on a number of events and meetings throughout the week that it was just really humbling to be considered part of. People really wanted to hear our story and had us contributing in a range of ways to discussions and dreams about the future.
Tomorrow it's off to Denver, Colorado to meet up with the Sawyer family who were with us in Nelson last year. Can't wait to see them all.
Thank you again to all of you who have been praying and imagining for us. We are having a fantastic time. Someone shared a great picture with us as we talked this week. They said they saw a large bed that had had all the bed clothes removed, but they were hanging from a garbage bag beside the bed. They said that they felt we were in a position where we could still open up the bag and get the old sheets and blankets and pillows out again, and that because there wasn't anything on the bed we were hearing voices saying, "maybe we could just stick those things back on, it's what we know at least?" But, God was saying to us, "How would you like the bed to be made? You have the opportunity to have a wonderful new place to sleep, rest, dream, etc, you just need to ask me." A very provocative image that has guided us this week.
Anyway, hopefully I will get a couple more postings up this next week as we further work through our Mosaic experience. Catch up soon.

Countdown to California

Wednesday night and in 24 hours time I'll be winging my way over to the USA with MaryAnn beside me sipping on a wine and hopefully not worrying about the kids back at home. Very excited at the prospect of connecting with Erwin McManus and the team at Mosaic, LA.
Really aware of the privilege that has been afforded to Maryann and I by our church in Nelson, City Church, and know that God has got stuff in store for all of us. A friend back here in Nelson, Dave Lee, rang to say he had picture of MaryAnn and I treading a path scattered with gems that God had gone ahead and prepared for us. I was wearing a shoulder bag and we were just leaning over and picking up these glistening, precious things, looking forward to bringing them home to Nelson and letting them shine amongst the family here.
I'm taking my guitar with me and trusting that there may be times where sharing my story with a song may be the most appropriate thing. We will be connecting with our mates, Jim and Linda Sawyer and their three boys, in Denver and Jim has asked me to lead a chapel time at the high school where he works so that should be cool.
Maryann and I have just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary and the chance to hangout with one another for a couple of weeks, exploring God stuff together feels about as close to a second honeymoon as I can imagine. Adventures ahead - next stop LA.